Memorial Day From Afar

by William R. Orkins, Captain, US Army

Well, here we are again separated due to the requirements of the service. Every year that I have been gone I have been away during Memorial Day. This year has been especially difficult, personally, as it has come immediately following an assignment. It has been a trying time for all the Soldiers, Marines, and Airmen, that have worked for me, as we have had the mythical task of truly understanding the insurgency from a standpoint unlike that of any previous conflict. Additionally, the organization is new, a collection of specialists that have never truly worked together before. Time will tell whether we will succeed in our endeavor, and with the constant political shifts within the international community only adds a layer of complexity to the required daily chores as it always has. However, that is not the point of this discourse.

Although I am located in a different country with a different unit, the bonds formed by the guys in a conflict zone are incredible and unlike anything else you can experience. You learn the quirks that are normally hidden in their daily lives, you learn their desires, hopes, beliefs, and vulnerabilities. Most of all you learn your own shortcomings. You learn what your strengths are and how to position those who can mitigate your weaknesses to ensure mission success. Being gone for months on end you have to search deep within yourself to find the ability to lead the guys when you have an adversary that changes like the wind, and work in a coalition environment that challenges even the most diplomatic officers.

This year I would like for all of you to honor three Soldiers that our group has lost during this deployment. Corporal Nicolas Roush, Specialist Marc Decoteau, Staff Sergeant Mark A. Stets. These fine men were the poster children for the Army. They volunteered not only to join the service, but deploy to the most austere conditions imaginable. They were always the first to put themselves in harm’s way for the good of the mission. They were the ones who we all looked up to because of their intelligence and commitment to the cause. Regardless of what is written about in the papers, or what the pundits say on the news regarding the war, these are the type of men who served our country and upheld the Army values in a way that remind you of the legends from the past wars our nation has faced.

These men didn’t serve as individuals, rather they served as a part of a team; a type of team that is only truly understood by those who have been in war. These men become your family while away from your family, but as with our three that we lost, they left their families behind. As you honor these men for their sacrifices pray for the void created in the lives of their loved ones. Nicolas Roush was engaged to his high school sweet heart. Mark Stets was married and had three young daughters. Marc Decoteau left his parents and siblings before it was time. All of their loved ones will spend the rest of their lives wondering what would have become of their lost loved ones.

For those of us still here and pushing along, we not only remember our fallen brothers, but we talk of the day that we can return to our families. All of us have loved ones many of us have wives and children. Thankfully, technology helps with keeping in touch, but we all endure the hardship of not being able to physically help when the dishwasher breaks, or the little one is sick and keeps mom up all night. For everybody on the outside remember the families of the Soldiers, show an appreciation to those wives who become single moms while their husband is away. They are the ones who give that morale boost to their deployed Soldiers. They are as much a part of this fight as are the guys on the front lines. Many of them, mine included, has seen this scenario all too many times. They live with the uncertainty of knowing when their loved will return, if they will be extended, or when they are in harm’s way. The military spouse deals with loneliness and pain that all too often goes unrecognized. They live the world behind the scenes of a conflict that doesn’t get the attention that the Soldier does. Think of them, and appreciate their sacrifices this Memorial Day.

Grasp a moment on this day while you are enjoying the long weekend with your friends and family and honor those that have given their lives. It’s more than a day to barbeque for us; it is a day for us to reflect. They gave everything for a cause, an idea, and for the promise of safety of their beloved home. The lowest private to the most senior officer feels the pain of our lost, and if you have never seen it you should look at the memorial of a fallen Soldier in combat; two boots, a rifle, dog tags, and a helmet. You should listen to the First Sergeant conduct the Final Role Call, followed by three shots, and the ultimate finality; Taps. The toughest Soldier breaks during the ceremony. The first time I witnessed this amazing memorial was for a good friend of Kristen and I, Kevin Smith, who was killed in December 2005 while conducting a patrol in Iraq. The military does many things well, but they honor the fallen in such a manner that the event is forever engrained in your memory.

We had ceremony today for our lost Soldiers. When the biographies are read by the Sergeant Major, Taps played, pictures portrayed of our Soldiers and their families, the pain of their friends displayed, words of the Colonel spoken, you can only imagine the gravity of the twenty minute event. It reminds each of us that regardless of the political decisions made we stand side by side and the memories of these great Americans are bright in all of our hearts.

Remember today that roughly one percent of the US population serves as either enlisted or as a commissioned officer in the military. Contractors and civilians bring the number a little higher, but the fact remains that our protection is provided by only a few, and these few are those who have seen this conflict repeatedly. These are the few that have raised their right hands and swore an oath to serve and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic, that they will obey the orders of the President and the orders of the officers appointed over them; that they will bear true faith and allegiance to the same. So, when you see a veteran, everyday, offer your gratitude for the sacrifices that they and their families have made so that we can may have a country that allows us the pleasure of living under the Constitution of the United States.

Thank you to Captain Orkins, nephew of my step-father, for permission to share his Memorial Day letter to friends and loved ones back home.

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